4 Common Injuries You're Likely To Encounter As A Parent To Young Children
We all know that having kids takes a toll on you as a parent, be it emotionally, mentally or financially. However, as the dad of two young ones, I've also learnt that it has an impact physically.
I don't wish to get too dramatic about it, but KIDS ARE DANGEROUS AND PUT YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE EACH AND EVERY DAY!!!
So, in order to raise awareness of the physical perils that we face as parents, here are some of the most common injuries you're likely to encounter when you have a little one:
It's a little-known fact that baby and toddler fingernails are made from adamantium - the same stuff as Wolverine's retractable claws. Don't believe me? Then how else can you explain all the scratches and cuts those little fingernails make to their parent's skin?
I've had cuts everywhere thanks to those razor blade like nails - on my forehead, in my ear, on my eyelid, up my nostril, on my neck, across my chest, on my arm - you get the gist. The only solution is regular baby manicures - or chopping off their fingers...
These days, I always seem to have some kind of ache or pain. Sure, part of it might be down to being in my mid-thirties, but I reckon the majority is caused by kids. Let me give you a few examples as to why my body feels like it's done a workout with Joe Wicks.
Although I probably couldn't sell out a venue (even with free tickets) to my very own 'gun show', my arms constantly ache due to holding, cradling and rocking a heavy baby. Then there's those nights when you get a little invader in your bed who takes up all of the room, meaning you have to sleep in an awkward position which hurts your neck or shoulder.
Or how about when you're babywearing for a long period of time and find that your legs feel like they're made of jelly for the next few days to lugging around the excess weight otherwise known as your offspring? It's worse than the day after the gym, I tell ya.
There's nothing more painful than an unexpected smack in your nether regions. Arguably, there's nothing funnier too - as long as it's happened to someone else. In everyday life, a kick in the groin isn't something that happens too often, however the likelihood grows exponentially when you have kids.
This severe injury often happens during play. I've been on the receiving end of a football fired into my privates when having a kick about with my daughter and suffered too many accidental knees, elbows or headbutts to my manhood when playing rough.
My top dad tip is to invest in a cup (the groin protector kind, not the beverage holder!).
Despite only being on the planet for a few years, a child soon accumulates so much stuff that it takes over your house. Unless your home utilises every IKEA storage solution, chances are your floor will be littered with baby and toddler related items for you to navigate on a daily basis - almost like a more dangerous version of firewalking.
Although this stuff obviously isn't unsafe for babies, it's very hazardous for parents. One wrong step and you'll find your foot impaled by something jagged, hard and with an age range of 6 months +. The example often used is that of stepping on LEGO - speaking from experience, I can confirm that this is painful, however it is nothing compared to standing on a plastic toy stegosaurus with all of those spikes!
So those are four common injuries you're likely to get as a parent. Agree? What would you add?
You can read more of Dave's posts on his dad blog The DADventurer (www.thedadventurer.com)